|Buy my Undead Boyfriend!!
||[Oct. 22nd, 2010|05:11 pm]
So I'm selling my zombie boyfriend.
I think he used to be a mummy, but has some slight damage, and is pretty much a high end zombie now. So I'm selling him as a zombie. I've had him for about seven years, but he's considerably older than that.
Being that he was a mummy, he's kinda old, but he's really well preserved, save for the wrappings and whatnot. (They're missing. I'm not sure what happened to them, but they were already gone before I acquired him.) He's tall (about 6'7" I think), thin, with black hair and blue eyes. I'm fairly certain this is his original colour scheme. He comes with a set of brown contacts, and I guess you could bleach and dye his hair if you don't like the black. He also has an English accent. I don't think you can get rid of that. He has minimal rotting of flesh, since he's been well preserved, being a mummy and all. He's very good looking, for being a zombie and all.
He DOES smoke alot, and that's really not a fixable problem. So don't buy this zombie if smoking bothers you. He has some notable liver damage, and I advise the buyer to not give him alcohol. (I don't know if this is a pre-undeath problem.) He does buy the cigarettes himself, so we assume he still has some of his mummy treasure. We've never asked about that though, since they're probably cursed. He also prefers live food, and isn't very willing to each much else.
Why am I getting rid of my zombie boyfriend? Well, we get along really well, and he's really pretty, but zombies aren't good for conversation. Also, he only wants me for my brains. :(
I'm willing to negotiate payment, and I'll also consider a trade. I'd like something of vampire or higher mortality though, I don't really want another zombie. No werewolves, too hairy. Will consider robots.
Inquiries should leave a comment, or message allegoriest on aim, and ask for Leene or Siegfried.
(Artist's [sic] Interpretation)